I Painted A Wall A Color I Chose

Go round that house and count the things you actually chose.

The couch came from a relative. The table was here. The paint was here. The curtains were somebody's idea before you and you have never got round to it. The picture in the hall belonged to somebody's mother.

None of that is a complaint. Every single one of those was sensible at the time, and most of them were free, and there was no month in the last nine years where buying curtains would have been a reasonable act.

But go round and count anyway, and notice how short the list is.

And here is what that does over years, quietly, without ever announcing itself. A person living entirely inside other people's decisions slowly stops having any of their own, about anything at all.

Let me put this down before anything else. Not knowing how is not a character flaw, and neither is furnishing a house out of what came free. What I am talking about is not taste. It is the muscle that gets used when a person decides something, and it goes quiet when it is never asked for.

Wisdom of heart to work all manner of work

There is a verse in Exodus about the people who made the tabernacle, and what God says He filled them with is worth reading slowly.

Them hath he filled with wisdom of heart, to work all manner of work, of the engraver, and of the cunning workman, and of the embroiderer, in blue, and in purple, in scarlet, and in fine linen. (Exodus 35:35, King James Version)

Look at what is being described. Not only skill. Wisdom of heart, which is a phrase about judgment, and then a list that includes engraving and embroidery and specific colors named one after another.

God filled people with the capacity to make aesthetic decisions. Blue, and purple, and scarlet, named individually, in the account of His own dwelling place.

You have a God who filled people with the judgment to choose colors and called it wisdom of heart, and having an opinion about what a room looks like has never once been a frivolous thing. Exodus 35:35 names the colors one by one in the middle of the building account, and the Holy Spirit is the one who lets that read as dignity rather than as decoration.

And notice that this is not described as a lesser gift than the structural work. It sits in the same sentence, filled by the same God, for the same building.

You are carrying something Scripture calls wisdom of heart, and a decision about a color has never once been beneath the notice of the God who specified scarlet. The Spirit of God is the one who puts value where the world calls it trivial, and it is written in Exodus that the choosing of colors was part of what He filled people with.

Why one wall changes so much

Here is what happens when somebody who has never chosen anything chooses one thing, and it is out of all proportion to the paint.

The wall is not the point. The point is that there is now one surface in that house that exists because a person had a preference and acted on it.

And a room with one of those in it is a different room to stand in. Not because it looks better, although it might. Because it contains evidence that the person living there has opinions and is allowed to have them.

You have been living inside a house with no evidence of your own judgment in it, and one chosen color has never once been only about a wall. It is written in Exodus 35:35 that God filled people with wisdom of heart for exactly this kind of work, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes a small choice into something that changes a room.

And here is the part that surprises people. Choosing is hard the first time, and it is hard in a specific way. Standing in front of a shelf of options with nobody to defer to is genuinely uncomfortable when the muscle has not been used in years.

There is a pull toward asking somebody. There is a pull toward the safest one. That discomfort is not a sign of bad taste. It is a sign that the muscle is stiff, and stiff muscles are not broken ones.

Now the limit, and I say it here rather than in a footer. Changing a color is yours. Changing anything structural or anything wired in is not. Never a gas appliance, never the breaker panel, never mains wiring, never a wall holding the building up, never a roof. Call a licensed professional and pay them properly, and if you rent, ask in writing before anything permanent.

You are entirely right to keep your choosing inside what is actually yours to change, and a small reversible decision has never once counted for less than a permanent one. The Holy Spirit is the one who gives a person peace about a boundary, and Scripture puts the naming of colors inside the account of the work rather than outside it.

Choose one thing, entirely alone

So here is the ask, and the last two words matter more than the rest.

Choose one color or one object tonight, for one small thing, entirely by yourself.

Small is fine. One wall, one shelf, one cushion, one lampshade, one door. It does not have to cost anything much and it does not have to be permanent.

You are able to make one decision about your own room without asking anybody, and one choice made alone has never once been the wrong one for the person who made it. The Spirit of God is the one who is present in an ordinary act of judgment, and Exodus 35:35 names the colors individually in the account of God's own dwelling.

Entirely by yourself is the whole instruction. Do not send a photograph to anybody. Do not ask which one somebody prefers. Do not choose the one that would be easiest to defend.

Pick the one you actually like, which is a sentence you may not have used about anything in this house for nine years.

And when it is done, stand in the doorway and look at it, and notice what it feels like to be in a room containing a decision of yours.

You have permission to like what you like without consulting anybody, and one preference acted on has never once been a self indulgence. It is written in Exodus that God filled people with wisdom of heart to work in blue and purple and scarlet, and the same Spirit who breathed that line is standing in that room with you.